Reflections

 In Motherhood, Personal, Titus Low

My friends recently commented that my pace is even faster than before.. And some time back, my hubby said I am heading the big “4” already.. So I reply, “So?”. It is just a number, what really matters is how you feel about it.

Many things have changes, time passed, what have we done for the past year. How had we done things differently or not?

I am still thankful for the child that I hugged, embraced and kissed every day. As the Chinese saying goes 有子万事足, he was borne as a premature and stayed in NICU for a week in oxygen box with breathing issues. However, he was discharged with no medication, much to our surprise, praise God.

The road ahead for the first six months was challenging, filled with uncertainty, managing the little one as first time parents, and being premature baby didn’t make it any easier for us too. He was crying his heart out for milk in the day and we waited patiently in the night for his milk. People told us to skip the night feed and trained him, lucky we didn’t take heed. Our paediatrician told us he need to catch up and milk is his only source of food to grow and catch up. Again, people tell us we will see a routine or light at the end of the tunnel after six months and we wondered how are we going to make it through. We monitor his feeding, schedule through mobile apps, syncing to each other to keep a close monitor and be ready for him. Still, he always gave us the unexpected, waking up late and refused his milk, or waking up earlier than expected and scream his lungs out for milk. Concerned neighbours pop by to see if we were doing ok, but were surprised to know that he was premature and all that screaming definitely can’t tell that!

Still fast forward, he is now 3.5 years old, he definitely caught up with his peers, in fact teachers commented that he is very smart and he learnt fast. All the “expected” premature issues that he might have such as asthma, weak lungs or low IQ didn’t affect him. He is a happy boy growing up as well as he can be. People tell me that he is a blessed child, I say I am a blessed mum to be able to take care of him.

However I am also aware that there are a lot out there still suffering. I am also grateful that I am able to embrace a social cause close to my heart. So I can say if I pass on, I can leave a legacy in helping the society in doing something better. By a stroke of chance, I decided to contact the “Angel Gowns” to ask for collaboration, when nothing came back. I was ready to move on my own, when a call came in one day and changed everything. Me and my partner now moved through challenges one after another, volunteers coming in and dropping out. We have our own differences, in fact we are poles apart in terms of characters and even to the extend of dressing! However, we came out together putting aside our differences and marched on. We often joked is either we “kill” each other or both perished together.

Now known as “Angel Hearts”, there is still much to be done, to get our charity status looked like a dream but we will persevere and carry on till we see what need to be done is done!

Last but not least a song that came in just in time? God’s timing…

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