Last night, I was attending the Child Bereavement Support (Singapore) (CBSS) meeting when someone brought sweets to share with everyone. So nice! It just reminded me of the phrase “苦中一点甜”. Despite we were all here with the same reason and to know that we were not alone but was also sad that there is someone out there suffering too. The same grief process that we went through, the guilt, the numberous “Why” questions that never get answer.
It has been 3 years since 2011 for my first miscarriage. Still I might get upset occasionally at something that might trigger and etc. The name, the birthday, the anniversary, we will never forget and never heal but we move forward. We tell ourselves to be strong, to try again.
I recalled an occasion when I was out with my carecell when my younger sister messaged me to thank me for the past year and going to her house every week to help her with her child. Now with another baby, she is busier and needed more help. I was struck dumb and speechless, I stepped out from the group to have a breather, a moment to be with myself. I teared, indeed it was hard but also is nice to see her children growing up strong and healthy.
Well, I guess there are times that we fall but is ok, just get up and try again. There are times when we think we can’t make it but time passed by and we make it through. Slowly and bit by bit. A small step at a time…